


Being Enough

by serenitykid7875



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Depression, F/F, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, mentions the Luthor family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 10:57:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16533251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenitykid7875/pseuds/serenitykid7875
Summary: Lena learns that she is good enough, cared about, and loved from the one person she loves more than she's ever loved anyone. Supercorp. Christmas time.





	Being Enough

Lena Luthor just wanted to be enough, to be good enough, to be cared about, and to be loved. But at a young age she learned that that would never be her life. Living with the Luthor's she was taught that she was never going to be enough, good, cared about, or loved. Lillian made it a point to hurt her every chance that she got no matter how hard she tried to be what she wanted. Lex loved and cared about her, but then Superman and he had a falling out and he tried to kill all those people. She had never hated her brother more than when he destroyed the Luthor name with the help of Lillian. Lionel had died long before that, but probably would have helped had he known.

Lena sighed as she listened to the radio in her office play Christmas music, 'Why is it I Christmas?' Lena thought to herself as she took a gulp of her whiskey. She knew the answer to that and she didn't want to think about it, but she did anyway. Lena sighed again, she hated this time of year. Because it reminded her that she didn't have anyone she wanted to spend it with, though she did have someone she wanted to spend it with this year, but she knew that they wouldn't want to spend it with her when they had their own family to spend it with. She didn't have family that she wanted to spend it with or who wanted to spend it with her.

It was Christmas Eve and here Lena was sitting in her office alone, having told everyone to take Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off, she stared off thinking about her life. About never having a true family ever since she was adopted by the Luthors and away from her real mother. A real mother who loved her and cared about her, from the real home full of real care and love. She hated Lionel from taking her from her mum, she had a few memories of her. Her bright green eyes that seemed to light up ever time that she saw her. The hugs and kisses that she received for even the littlest things. When she had first moved in with the Luthors she had missed her mother so much, but Lillian had stated that she needed to get over it and act like a Luthor. Taking another sip of her whiskey, Lena heard the soft thud of Supergirl landing outside on her balcony, she didn't turn when she entered the office.

"You know you should be at home. It's Christmas Eve." Supergirl said softly.

"I don't have a home. I have a place that I live in." Lena sighed.

"Sorry. Sometimes I forget the family that you have."

"Is there something you need Supergirl?" Lena said as she finally turned to face Kara. She knew that Kara was Supergirl. She'd known since she met her and she respected her privacy so she never mentioned it, but she was tired tonight of pretending. She just wanted to drink her pain away and crash on the couch. Before getting up and doing some more work in the morning.

"Kara Danvers was wondering if you wanted to come over and spend Christmas with her and her family. She knows that you don't have family to spend it with and she would be really happy if you wanted to spend it with her." Supergirl said quickly that Lena almost didn't hear all of it.

"I'm fine here."

"But it's a time for friends and family."

"My only friend is Kara and she has family. She deserves to spend it with her family."

"Lena."

"Just stop Kara." Lena slipped saying Supergirl's real name, but she didn't want to fight, she just wanted to be left alone.

"How long have you known?" Kara asked.

"Since we met. I've known Clark was Superman since I was young and he would come to hang out with Lex."

"You've let me lie to you since we met?"

"You deserve to be just Kara and I wanted to be the one to give that to you, but after all this time I was hoping that you would tell me. But I am a Luthor and no matter what I do to prove myself I'll never be enough."

"Lena you are so much more than just a Luthor. You are kind, generous, caring, and loving. The Luthor name doesn't deserve you. Where is this coming from? That you aren't enough?"

"Can we just forget that I said that? I just want to be alone Kara."

"No, I can't forget that you said that. Come on." Kara said as she helped Lena stand up after setting her glass down.

"Where are we going?" Lena asked as Kara picked her up bridal style.

"To my place to talk." Kara said as she took off.

"Kara…"

"It's just going to be us. Everyone else left for the night and I wanted to do a round to make sure that everything was alright when I saw your lights on."

Kara landed on her balcony, but she didn't put Lena down instead she carried her to her room. Kara then set Lena down on the bed before rummaging through her draws for some comfy pajamas that they could change in to. Kara handed Lena a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt and then pointed to the bathroom. Lena took that as a sign to go change and went in to the bathroom to change. Kara used her super-speed to change and then sat down on the bed waiting for Lena to come out.

Lena changed, but then stood looking in the mirror at herself, when had she given in to her depression this badly. It hadn't been since she was a child that she let herself sink this low. And all she wanted to do was to hurt herself, but she had let Kara bring her here and she wouldn't be able to give in to that here. Lena knew that Kara would break down the door and save her if she tried anything, but she was tempted when she saw the razor sitting on the counter.

"Lena?" Kara said as she gently knocked on the door, like she was able to hear Lena's thoughts and wanted to stop her from doing something hurtful to herself. Lena stepped away from the sink, sighed, and opened the door to find a concerned looking Kara standing there. "Are you okay?"

"I'm…" Lena began to say only to be stopped by Kara.

"Don't say I'm fine. Because I know for a fact that you are not fine or okay. Your heartbeat tells a different story."

"I'm just tired."

"What are you tired of? And don't say nothing."

"Fine. I'm tired of living. I'm tired of not being good enough. I'm tired of having to try and prove myself every time that something threatens the world. I'm just tired of everything." Lena said as tears filled her eyes.

"Oh Lena." Kara said softly as she hugged Lena to her before lifting her up and carrying her to set her down on the bed and then sat down next to her. "How long have you felt like this?"

"A long time. Growing up with the Luthors I've learned that I will never be good or enough or cared about or loved. I always have to prove myself. I'm never going to do the right things. I will never find someone that understands me."

"Lena, you are good and enough. You don't need to prove it to anyone, but yourself. And for the record I care and love you. You are my best friend. Someone who sees me a Kara before they see me as Supergirl. You are the one person in my life who doesn't demand that Supergirl be their hero. You called me, Kara Danvers, your hero and that means more to me than you could ever know. This depression that you are in, the drinking to numb the pain, the wanting to hurt yourself doesn't allow you to see all the good that you've done or the good that you will do. Lena you saved Earth over a million times and I know that they've never thanked you for it, but you have. You are so much more than what you give yourself credit for. I want you to know that I am here. Any time of any day. You mean so much to me and if you were to hurt yourself and leave me I would be devastated." Kara said as she made Lena look at her by gently putting her hands on either side of her face. "I know that I've never told you how much I love you, but I do Lena. I love you so much. And I care about you so much. I never want you to feel that you can't come to me." Kara added as she brushed the tears out of Lena's eyes as she cried.

Lena didn't know what to do with this information, she loved and cared about Kara too, but she didn't understand how someone could love her as much as she loved them. Lena wrapped her arms around Kara's neck and buried her face in the crook of where her shoulders and neck met. Kara just held her and let her continue to cry, kissing the side of her face and whispering, 'it's okay,' over and over again. Lena wanted it to be okay, but she couldn't lose the feeling that Kara was just saying these things to make her feel better. Somehow Kara could tell that Lena wasn't fully believing her and said, "I love you. I love you so much." And she repeated it until Lena started to believe it. Lena started to calm down and relax in her arms and Kara wanted nothing more than to hold Lena forever.

Lena pulled away after what seemed like hours, to look Kara in the eyes, to see so much love and care in them. "I love you too." Lena whispered so low that if Kara didn't have super-hearing wouldn't have heard her.

"You are my sun, Lena. And I know that right now isn't exactly the time that I wanted to tell you, but you need to hear this and you need to hear it now. I am in love with you. I have been in love with you since we met. And at first you intrigued me and I wanted to spend time with you. Getting to know you, the real you, has been one of the most wonderful things. You deserve to be loved and cared about and you should have been your whole life. I promise I will do everything in my power to make up for what you've had to endure when living with the Luthors. You deserve the world." Kara said softly and then she gently kissed Lena on the lips.

"I've been in love with you since I met you too. I love our time that we spend together and want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. You make me feel like I am good enough, cared about, and loved. Kara you light up my whole world and I want to promise you that I will love you forever." Lena said then kissed Kara again, cupping her face as Kara pulled her in to her lap and held on to her like her life depended on her.

That night Lena learned that the one person she wanted to spend Christmas with, cared and loved her, and wanted to spend Christmas with her just as much as she wanted to spend it with her. Kara, from that day forward, proved to her that she was good, enough, cared about, and loved over and over again.


End file.
